I walk through the streets of Sinchon and look at the sidewalk I have walked on and buildings I have passed by countless times these past 7 months, and I see it all from a different perspective now. I never took in my surroundings because I walked by the same building, walked on the same path, passed by the same exact booths without considering the fact that there will be a time that I will no longer walk past the same buildings, walk down the same sidewalk, and pass by the same booths.
It’s finally hitting me now, 16 days until I get on the plane and leave the place I called my home for the past half year. I take in my surroundings and realize that wow, I don’t have much more opportunities to be here at this time of my life in this season.
And quite honestly, the feeling…. sucks. A lot. I have met incredible people here, had some unforgettable experiences, have experienced the excitement and fun of how small the country of Korea is, have become integrated into the Korean culture… and to know that in just a couple of days, this whole experience will.. poof end and I will wake up in America, having woken up from this beautiful dream of mine.
I know this isn’t an end to my relationship with Korea. It is clear that God has called me to this country… it’s just that I will never come here as a student, I will never be able to experience the exact things I’ve experienced now. Living here as someone out of college, looking for a job, I know will be a totally different experience and I know it’s gonna be unimaginably harder than what I’ve gone through these past few months… Can time just stop now?
But no. I have to wake up from this nice dream. I need to wake up from this nice (long) getaway from reality, and start working toward what God has created me to do and become. In this time of transition, I will renew my mind daily that although this beautiful chapter is coming to an end no matter how much I don’t want it to, a new chapter is beginning and who knows what sorts of different blessings will come in this new chapter. I can’t hold on to the past because I’ll just end up losing what’s in store for my future.
LOL. This post was originally going to be a depressing post, but my fingers started speaking truth over me so now I’m not depressed anymore. LOL. Sorry for the ramble.
Korean girls are scary
if you mess with someone, the whole group of friends cusses that person out like mad.
I am currently in a group chat with Korean girls just cussing out this one guy who pissed off one of our friends… and I am legit scared.
I will not be a part of this…
The power of speaking truth over yourself
Everyone, and I mean everyone, struggles with the lies the devil whispers either through your own thoughts or through other people’s words.
But… there is power in speaking truth over your own self. Don’t get someone else to speak truth over you because you already know all that. You have already heard over and over and over again all the truths you need to know. Now proclaim them over yourselves. Declare it. Out loud. With a witness. Have someone next to you, look them straight in the eye, and declare the truths you have already heard numerous times before over yourself. Even if you don’t want to, even if you don’t believe it, just do it. There is so much power in that as you yourself see how worthy and significant you are. It all starts from finding your own security. Don’t let others define who you are— let God do that, and believe.
I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am special. God created me the way he created me not by mistake, but because he has a special plan for me. He made me look this way not by accident, but because He has greater plans for me. My life is worthwhile. I am worthy. I am a child of God. I will stop looking at other people and wishing my life looked like theirs. I will no longer desire to live someone else’s life, because God gave me the gifts and talents that only I have because His plans for me are different from anyone else’s plans.
Accept yourself the way you are. You are significant. You are special. God will not set you up for failure. Even if you don’t see them for yourself, God has created you with specific, DIFFERENT talents and gifts from anyone else in the world so that He will use you differently from any other person.
"The devil attacks your Pentagon"
What you struggle with isn’t your weakness. It is actually your strength.
The devil doesn’t waste his time attacking your weak points. He attacks your strong points to bring you down… Like terrorist groups aren’t going to bomb some random convenience store down the street… They’re gonna freaking blow up the highest building or a significant building to bring the whole nation into panic.
This changed my perspective on… everything. When I say I struggle with being intimate with God, my strength is intimacy with the Lord. I actually struggled a lot with prayer…. I had a lot of doubts even when I prayed. However, I have been told multiple times here at Emmaus (New Philly), that I am a prayer warrior and have powerful prayers. Like.. SAY WHAT?! I’ve always thought I struggled with prayer… but no… that was my strength. Confirmation after confirmation even after familia today, the sister who led today kakaoed me separately and told me my prayers were powerful that day and that it set the atmosphere in the room. Wow. So mind-blown.
BUT at the same time— I don’t want my prayers to just be words I speak from the flesh, but words that come from a deep connection in the spirit. I don’t want to sound holy.. I want to be holy. I don’t want to sound like I know God.. I really want to just know God.
But yes, keep this in mind. What you struggle with isn’t your weakness, it is your strength. Don’t let the enemy trick you into believing that that is your weakness.